Charmed Reboot 1x01 - Pilot
Oh. My. God. It's here. Like, it's actually here you guys. The Charmed Reboot. I can't believe they had to audacity to even air this crap. I'll post my thoughts as the episode goes, but yeah... Um... Wow.
Original Charmed: 100
Fake Charmed: 0
Okay so we start the series off with Sister 1 sneaking around the place. They were trying to make people think they must have been hunting a demon, but that would be rushing it, right?(Just wait for it, folks...) Okay so, as Sister 1 was sneaking around, Sister 2 moves in front of her and demands Sister 1 to take her boots off... Alright, I guess I can hand out points for the sister moment.
Fake Charmed: 5
After their cute little sister exchange, they overhear their mother, Marisol, talking to someone on the school board. There's this moment where she tells her girls she had one glass of wine, but Sister 1 looked at Sister 2 and mouthed that Marisol had two glasses... which let's be real, she had the whole bottle. I mean... am I right?
Okay, so after Marisol gave her quote of the episode, Sister's 1 and 2 goes off to do their own thing, but god fucking forbid Sister 2 has a fucking curfew because she's a freshman. In college. Like... really? She has a fucking curfew? Lol...
Fake Charmed: 0
Then as she's walking and thinking about going through the woods, she stops and rolls her eyes as if she knows what's behind her. And it's a guy. So she knows this dude is like what... interested? Stalking her? Girl, gimme the deets of this situation!!
I guess Brian is concerned about her well being, but she just doesn't give a fuck.
Okay so back at the house, Marisol is starting to freak out. She's looking around and I fucking kid you not, this is EXACTLY how the Secret Circle started out!!! She was worried, Cassie's mom was worried, Cassie's Mom dies and then SPOILER ALERT, Marisol dies?
Fake Charmed: -10
Original Charmed: 100
Marisol is now casting her spell, which apparently spells in Latin is a thing? I'm sorry, but wasn't Latin spell casting a thing in Supernatural? And then the fucking crows out of Ravenswood comes into the attic and caws the fuck out of Marisol.
There's also a scene at the party where Sister 1 is attending for a sorority. Cause she's a sorority girl. Yay. After she mingles with the singles, Sister 2 just shows up out of nowhere and demands her sister come home because I guess their Mom sent out a text. Awesome. Also, vomit on Sister 2's boots, cause... yeah. When the sisters come home, they meet up with the crows while the temperatures down to like -40 and then when they reach the attic... OMFG MARISOL IS DEAD! Like Patty died! But Patty dies before the pilot.
Also, cool transition with the logo.
Fake Charmed: -15 for the Mother dying cliche
Fake Charmed: -10 for the cool ass logo transition
So a new girl is introduced and apparently she's a scientist, but instead of working like a good little scientist, she's looking up the Marisol Vera murder investigation. Cause we all know what's gonna come up in a couple scenes... Sighs...
At school, Sister 2 is hanging up signs because she's a feminine activist. Yeah, you go girl. Woot! Then some weird ass guy comes up to her, and she wants absolutely nothing to do with him. As the sister and the dude are talking, she points how she hates him because he replaced her mom as head of the department and for some reason it's important that she point out that he's a CIS male. This isn't going to a theme throughout the whole show, is it? I mean, I'm a huge supporter if LGBT and Gender Equality, but don't push it in a show like Charmed. Ugh. Then she gets into a fight with some dude after hanging a million posters on the board because Warren Thaine needs to be fucking brought down.
Anyway, I finally fucking know the name of one of the girls. Mel is now in a meeting with Niko(who's her GF) and some other random ass cop. They're gonna talk the dude she punched out into not pressing any charges so good for her. After coming home, Maggie is now upset with her sister because she had the balls to punch someone. Who happens to be male. Yay feminism power.
So after Mel comes home, she and her sister gets into an argument which... awesome, and then Maggie informs Mel that she's rushing sorority so she can move in there and become a sister, much to Mel's annoyance and betrayal. When the doorbell rings, the scientist is there and announces that she's their older sister... OMG I DID NOOOOT SEE THIS COMING!!!!! Also the lights flicker and shuts off. Awesome.
Fake Charmed: -20 for blatant Season 4 Original Charmed plagiarism.
Okay so, the sisters are somewhere talking about Macy's picture of their mother and Mel approaches the two commenting about a circuit box, which yay nod to the original Charmed pilot, Something Wicca This Way Comes. How many fucking rip off's does this pilot have? How many ideas and shit did they steal from the Original show? God dammit.
After Macy leaves, she meets up with her man or whoever at a bar and they talk about the sisters. When Ser'Darius Blaine annoys the shit out of Macy, she uses her OMG POWERS to fling the beer bottle to the wall... Okay so are we to assume the massive freak storm was what activated their powers? I guess that's...nice.
We're at Maggie now who's Insta-stalking her newbie sister while Kate from Pretty Little Liars is giving the new Kappa's a tour of the house. Honestly, Im not listening to what Kate has to say about the Kappa house because... okay so anyway, Kate takes Maggie over to some other girls to introduce them because apparently Maggie is a shoe in for the sorority? Um okay. Suddenly as she shakes hands with the others... she's a fucking telepathic? So she can read minds. I'm sorry, how is this useful over premonitions?? The sisters give her ugly thoughts and Maggie is just as confused as they are... "Is this a prank? Um yeah, Im gonna answer your thoughts now even though you didn't say anything!! TEEHEE..." Give. Me. A. Break.
At the coffee house, we're with Mel who's with her girlfriend cop Niko. But now I guess they're not together anymore? Because she's changed after her mom died? Whatever, I don't really fucking know. Anyways, after an intense argument with her ex girlfriend, Mel goes through emotional stages where she starts freezing things. I'm sorry, but how is she freezing things? Is it with her mind now like telekinesis is? Also, why is her freezing power strong? And why the fuck are the freezing's in increments? Am I the only one confused with this??? After Mel ditches her ex girlfriend, she's seemingly abducted. Awesome.
As the girls wakes up, they're tied up to some chairs and Mel's annoying perverted professor has kidnapped the three sisters. And he's magical. And can sense things coming at him. Umm... okay. Lol. This dude is trying to explain to the girls their destiny and the girls are like "OMG OMG I CANT BE A WITCH!!!" and Harry is like "You're a witch!!!" Also Mel tries to freeze Harry like Piper used to do in Original Charmed... And then Harry tells them he's their whitelighter.
Fake Charmed: -30 for more blatant Charmed plagiarism.
So after explaining more and giving the most annoying fucking speech ever, Harry informs the girls that the apocalypse is coming and the Source of all Evil(insert eye roll here) is now gonna try to kill the girls because they can't be stopping Him or Her or It... what the fuck ever they're gonna make this Source into. While Mel is traipsing through the woods to go back to Kappa House and Macy is researching telekinesis and how it's possible, Maggie is visited by her ex girlfriend Niko and she begins to freeze her ex girlfriend like fifty seven times or something. And seriously, it's fifty times. And she's so fucking excited to be a witch now. Like what the fuck ever, dude. And the two ex girlfriends comes not so ex girlfriends. Yay you go girls!
Now that they're witches, I guess every demon in existence now is coming after the girls because there's a fucking demon dog going after Maggie now. ORIGINAL CHARMED RIP OFF!!! THERE WAS ALREADY A DEMON DOG IN ORIGINAL CHARMED! THIRD EPISODE, SEASON ONE!!!
Fake Charmed: -40 for more CONTENT THEFT!!!
Anyways, as the sisters have a witchy pow-wow, Harry the whitelighter apparates in to yell at the girls for not calling him and he demonstrates his healing power to heal a wound Maggie received from the demon dog. Macy is around trying to figure out which cell is surrounding the supernatural cell blah blah blaaaah and Harry is trying to tell the girls what to do, but the girls still hate him. Blah blah blaaaah... After having an argument about their mothers death, Maggie rushes out of the house only to be kidnapped by the stupid Kappa's and Kate.
At the party, Mel and Macy rushes in and looks for Maggie, but Mel has this kinda funny confrontation with Kate about how she's always hated Kate and thinks she's a fucking bitch. BUT Kate only wanted to offer Mel drugs and alcohol. So if Kate isn't the demon of the episode, who is? This is when Maggie is met with her boyfriend... I forgot his name. LOL!! When boyfriend goes in and asks Maggie for a kiss, she reads his mind and finds out he's a demon!! OMG!!! And for some reason she can do pilates? I'm sorry, but how did she just know how to kick a demon back fifty feet?? And she was SURPRISED to know she could kick someone like that... What the fucking what?? THIS SHOW DOESNT MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE!!!!
Fake Charmed: -50 for NOT MAKING SENSE!!!
When Macy rushes in and sees Brian the demon, she freaks out and throws the powder in his face and the poor kid is having seizures for something, and then the fucking demon is exorcised Supernatural style... Does this fucking show not have any rip off's from other shows?? As the sisters are walking away from their demon fight, Macy and Maggie are discussing the demon, the vanquish and Brian while I guess Mel is pouting and being a bitch all because she couldn't fight the demon with them... fucking seriously? And that's not all. Apparently she knows how she can freeze things, by being HAPPY!!!
SAY FUCKING WHAT?!?! They just fucking REVERSED the trigger on how Piper accesses her powers and how Mel triggers hers! DOES THIS SHOW NOT HAVE ORIGINALITY?!?!
So now because Macy is a scientist, she begins to put the pieces of the demon together. OMG THE DEMON IS THE COLLEGE PROFESSOR?! HE'S COLD AS ICE??? Mel is going around campus trying to find the demon and SHOCKER IT'S THE PROFESSOR!!! Like we didn't fucking know that.
So the demon finally reveals himself and OMFG IT'S A FUCKING CREATURE FROM GAME OF THRONES!!! He tries to kill Mel and Macy but they use their powers to defend each other. Then the annoying kid Cameron gets killed but healed by Harry. Then the demon goes full force trying to kill he girls.
As they chant in Latin, the creature from Game of Thrones gets vanquished but not before giving them a message: HE DIDN'T KILL THEIR MOTHER! Fucking obviously. And what's worse, those stupid Fake Charmed Ones told Harry not to erase Cameron's memories. God damn.
After Macy moves into the Vera Manor because Season 4 Original Charmed plagiarism, Mel finds the spirit board and the girls asks their mother to contact them from beyond the grave...
DON'T TRUST HARRY!!! DUN DUN DUNNN
Honestly, I could tell throughout the episode that Harry wasn't really a whitelighter. I bet Niko is a whitelighter. That would make sense.
Also the promo for the season ahead is just so fucking ridiculous.
Final Score: -60 for constant plagiarism, stupid shit, making no sense at all... Poor episode.
Original Charmed: 100
Fake Charmed: 0
Okay so we start the series off with Sister 1 sneaking around the place. They were trying to make people think they must have been hunting a demon, but that would be rushing it, right?(Just wait for it, folks...) Okay so, as Sister 1 was sneaking around, Sister 2 moves in front of her and demands Sister 1 to take her boots off... Alright, I guess I can hand out points for the sister moment.
Fake Charmed: 5
After their cute little sister exchange, they overhear their mother, Marisol, talking to someone on the school board. There's this moment where she tells her girls she had one glass of wine, but Sister 1 looked at Sister 2 and mouthed that Marisol had two glasses... which let's be real, she had the whole bottle. I mean... am I right?
Okay, so after Marisol gave her quote of the episode, Sister's 1 and 2 goes off to do their own thing, but god fucking forbid Sister 2 has a fucking curfew because she's a freshman. In college. Like... really? She has a fucking curfew? Lol...
Fake Charmed: 0
Then as she's walking and thinking about going through the woods, she stops and rolls her eyes as if she knows what's behind her. And it's a guy. So she knows this dude is like what... interested? Stalking her? Girl, gimme the deets of this situation!!
I guess Brian is concerned about her well being, but she just doesn't give a fuck.
Okay so back at the house, Marisol is starting to freak out. She's looking around and I fucking kid you not, this is EXACTLY how the Secret Circle started out!!! She was worried, Cassie's mom was worried, Cassie's Mom dies and then SPOILER ALERT, Marisol dies?
Fake Charmed: -10
Original Charmed: 100
Marisol is now casting her spell, which apparently spells in Latin is a thing? I'm sorry, but wasn't Latin spell casting a thing in Supernatural? And then the fucking crows out of Ravenswood comes into the attic and caws the fuck out of Marisol.
There's also a scene at the party where Sister 1 is attending for a sorority. Cause she's a sorority girl. Yay. After she mingles with the singles, Sister 2 just shows up out of nowhere and demands her sister come home because I guess their Mom sent out a text. Awesome. Also, vomit on Sister 2's boots, cause... yeah. When the sisters come home, they meet up with the crows while the temperatures down to like -40 and then when they reach the attic... OMFG MARISOL IS DEAD! Like Patty died! But Patty dies before the pilot.
Also, cool transition with the logo.
Fake Charmed: -15 for the Mother dying cliche
Fake Charmed: -10 for the cool ass logo transition
So a new girl is introduced and apparently she's a scientist, but instead of working like a good little scientist, she's looking up the Marisol Vera murder investigation. Cause we all know what's gonna come up in a couple scenes... Sighs...
At school, Sister 2 is hanging up signs because she's a feminine activist. Yeah, you go girl. Woot! Then some weird ass guy comes up to her, and she wants absolutely nothing to do with him. As the sister and the dude are talking, she points how she hates him because he replaced her mom as head of the department and for some reason it's important that she point out that he's a CIS male. This isn't going to a theme throughout the whole show, is it? I mean, I'm a huge supporter if LGBT and Gender Equality, but don't push it in a show like Charmed. Ugh. Then she gets into a fight with some dude after hanging a million posters on the board because Warren Thaine needs to be fucking brought down.
Anyway, I finally fucking know the name of one of the girls. Mel is now in a meeting with Niko(who's her GF) and some other random ass cop. They're gonna talk the dude she punched out into not pressing any charges so good for her. After coming home, Maggie is now upset with her sister because she had the balls to punch someone. Who happens to be male. Yay feminism power.
So after Mel comes home, she and her sister gets into an argument which... awesome, and then Maggie informs Mel that she's rushing sorority so she can move in there and become a sister, much to Mel's annoyance and betrayal. When the doorbell rings, the scientist is there and announces that she's their older sister... OMG I DID NOOOOT SEE THIS COMING!!!!! Also the lights flicker and shuts off. Awesome.
Fake Charmed: -20 for blatant Season 4 Original Charmed plagiarism.
Okay so, the sisters are somewhere talking about Macy's picture of their mother and Mel approaches the two commenting about a circuit box, which yay nod to the original Charmed pilot, Something Wicca This Way Comes. How many fucking rip off's does this pilot have? How many ideas and shit did they steal from the Original show? God dammit.
After Macy leaves, she meets up with her man or whoever at a bar and they talk about the sisters. When Ser'Darius Blaine annoys the shit out of Macy, she uses her OMG POWERS to fling the beer bottle to the wall... Okay so are we to assume the massive freak storm was what activated their powers? I guess that's...nice.
We're at Maggie now who's Insta-stalking her newbie sister while Kate from Pretty Little Liars is giving the new Kappa's a tour of the house. Honestly, Im not listening to what Kate has to say about the Kappa house because... okay so anyway, Kate takes Maggie over to some other girls to introduce them because apparently Maggie is a shoe in for the sorority? Um okay. Suddenly as she shakes hands with the others... she's a fucking telepathic? So she can read minds. I'm sorry, how is this useful over premonitions?? The sisters give her ugly thoughts and Maggie is just as confused as they are... "Is this a prank? Um yeah, Im gonna answer your thoughts now even though you didn't say anything!! TEEHEE..." Give. Me. A. Break.
At the coffee house, we're with Mel who's with her girlfriend cop Niko. But now I guess they're not together anymore? Because she's changed after her mom died? Whatever, I don't really fucking know. Anyways, after an intense argument with her ex girlfriend, Mel goes through emotional stages where she starts freezing things. I'm sorry, but how is she freezing things? Is it with her mind now like telekinesis is? Also, why is her freezing power strong? And why the fuck are the freezing's in increments? Am I the only one confused with this??? After Mel ditches her ex girlfriend, she's seemingly abducted. Awesome.
As the girls wakes up, they're tied up to some chairs and Mel's annoying perverted professor has kidnapped the three sisters. And he's magical. And can sense things coming at him. Umm... okay. Lol. This dude is trying to explain to the girls their destiny and the girls are like "OMG OMG I CANT BE A WITCH!!!" and Harry is like "You're a witch!!!" Also Mel tries to freeze Harry like Piper used to do in Original Charmed... And then Harry tells them he's their whitelighter.
Fake Charmed: -30 for more blatant Charmed plagiarism.
So after explaining more and giving the most annoying fucking speech ever, Harry informs the girls that the apocalypse is coming and the Source of all Evil(insert eye roll here) is now gonna try to kill the girls because they can't be stopping Him or Her or It... what the fuck ever they're gonna make this Source into. While Mel is traipsing through the woods to go back to Kappa House and Macy is researching telekinesis and how it's possible, Maggie is visited by her ex girlfriend Niko and she begins to freeze her ex girlfriend like fifty seven times or something. And seriously, it's fifty times. And she's so fucking excited to be a witch now. Like what the fuck ever, dude. And the two ex girlfriends comes not so ex girlfriends. Yay you go girls!
Now that they're witches, I guess every demon in existence now is coming after the girls because there's a fucking demon dog going after Maggie now. ORIGINAL CHARMED RIP OFF!!! THERE WAS ALREADY A DEMON DOG IN ORIGINAL CHARMED! THIRD EPISODE, SEASON ONE!!!
Fake Charmed: -40 for more CONTENT THEFT!!!
Anyways, as the sisters have a witchy pow-wow, Harry the whitelighter apparates in to yell at the girls for not calling him and he demonstrates his healing power to heal a wound Maggie received from the demon dog. Macy is around trying to figure out which cell is surrounding the supernatural cell blah blah blaaaah and Harry is trying to tell the girls what to do, but the girls still hate him. Blah blah blaaaah... After having an argument about their mothers death, Maggie rushes out of the house only to be kidnapped by the stupid Kappa's and Kate.
At the party, Mel and Macy rushes in and looks for Maggie, but Mel has this kinda funny confrontation with Kate about how she's always hated Kate and thinks she's a fucking bitch. BUT Kate only wanted to offer Mel drugs and alcohol. So if Kate isn't the demon of the episode, who is? This is when Maggie is met with her boyfriend... I forgot his name. LOL!! When boyfriend goes in and asks Maggie for a kiss, she reads his mind and finds out he's a demon!! OMG!!! And for some reason she can do pilates? I'm sorry, but how did she just know how to kick a demon back fifty feet?? And she was SURPRISED to know she could kick someone like that... What the fucking what?? THIS SHOW DOESNT MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE!!!!
Fake Charmed: -50 for NOT MAKING SENSE!!!
When Macy rushes in and sees Brian the demon, she freaks out and throws the powder in his face and the poor kid is having seizures for something, and then the fucking demon is exorcised Supernatural style... Does this fucking show not have any rip off's from other shows?? As the sisters are walking away from their demon fight, Macy and Maggie are discussing the demon, the vanquish and Brian while I guess Mel is pouting and being a bitch all because she couldn't fight the demon with them... fucking seriously? And that's not all. Apparently she knows how she can freeze things, by being HAPPY!!!
SAY FUCKING WHAT?!?! They just fucking REVERSED the trigger on how Piper accesses her powers and how Mel triggers hers! DOES THIS SHOW NOT HAVE ORIGINALITY?!?!
So now because Macy is a scientist, she begins to put the pieces of the demon together. OMG THE DEMON IS THE COLLEGE PROFESSOR?! HE'S COLD AS ICE??? Mel is going around campus trying to find the demon and SHOCKER IT'S THE PROFESSOR!!! Like we didn't fucking know that.
So the demon finally reveals himself and OMFG IT'S A FUCKING CREATURE FROM GAME OF THRONES!!! He tries to kill Mel and Macy but they use their powers to defend each other. Then the annoying kid Cameron gets killed but healed by Harry. Then the demon goes full force trying to kill he girls.
As they chant in Latin, the creature from Game of Thrones gets vanquished but not before giving them a message: HE DIDN'T KILL THEIR MOTHER! Fucking obviously. And what's worse, those stupid Fake Charmed Ones told Harry not to erase Cameron's memories. God damn.
After Macy moves into the Vera Manor because Season 4 Original Charmed plagiarism, Mel finds the spirit board and the girls asks their mother to contact them from beyond the grave...
DON'T TRUST HARRY!!! DUN DUN DUNNN
Honestly, I could tell throughout the episode that Harry wasn't really a whitelighter. I bet Niko is a whitelighter. That would make sense.
Also the promo for the season ahead is just so fucking ridiculous.
Final Score: -60 for constant plagiarism, stupid shit, making no sense at all... Poor episode.
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