Charmed - 1x02 - Recap

1x02 - Let This Mother Out

OMG PREVIOUSLY ON WHO THE FUCK CARES...

As the episode opens, I greatly appreciate the continuity! There's this female janitor cleaning up after the Fake Charmed Ones vanquished... what's his demon's faces name... So as she's cleaning up, she's talking to someone over the phone when a small little blob begins to make some noise. After she goes to investigate, she gets ATTACKED BY THE BLOB AND GETS POSSESSED! Oh my fucking GOD, can this NOT BE ANYMORE LIKE SUPERNATURAL?!?! But no fret,  viewers, because the blob didn't actually possess the lady. I don't know what the fuck is going on... Maybe it's some type of copy cat DNA  type of demon or something... After the lady gets thrown around by such a tiny little gunk of demon goo, it shoots itself over to the air vent and I guess gloats? I don't fucking know, we're not allowed to see more anyway because...

At the manor, it's picking up right when the first episode left off. With Harry spying on the girls after their mother was like "DON'T TRUST HARRY!!!" Okay, lemme get one thing clear: I don't think Harry is a whitelighter. No whitelighter would tell their charges to stay away from a Spirit Board since Spirit Boards are a very powerful tool for witches. So now that the girls were warned about Harry Potter, they need to come up with code names to avoid him... yeah whatever.

Macy is now moved into the Vera Manor(why, I don't really fucking know...) and she's taking their dead mothers room. Yeah okay, whatever. The thing that makes me question this whole show is... why is Macy having a professional time with her powers? Is it because she's a scientist? Which to me makes no fucking sense because this whole show isn't making any sense. These girls needs to be making messes, not showing signs of control!!

As if this episode couldn't get any better(more like worse), this show is showing signs of twisted originality. Their Book of Shadows can flip on its own(mmhm) and instead of a truth spell, there's now a truth serum(Uh huh)... Actually, didn't Paige use a truth serum on the guy who ran Leo over in Vaya Con Leo's...? Anyways, back to the reboot, the girls come to a conclusion that while they try to find out if Harry Potter is who he says he is(he's not) they will stay away from the Spirit Board much to the disapproval of Mel. 

The next day, the girls are in the dining room mixing up the truth serum but of course they're missing one ingredient that Macy can just get from the science lab(foreshadowing anyone?) and they also need to come up with a code name if they wanna talk shit behind Harry Potter's back. Also they make references to Meghan Markle and Prince Harry... Lol... really? Maggie comes up with this awesome idea about how she can use gloves to avoid using her powers to read other peoples minds, but girl seriously should know better... This aint no Whistlin' Dixie, Maggie. Then she ditches her sisters for some Kappa bullshit... whatever. I don't care. Long as we get to see Kate, since I know the actress from Pretty Little Liars. Lol.

When Maggie gets to the hospital, they're basically mourning the girl who's in a coma and Maggie shows up late... That should tell herself she does no belong with no Kappa Sisters, am I right? Kate is being a royal bitch and demands Maggie to hold onto the girl in the coma's hand... And when she does? The bitch is literally screaming in her head, the fuck??? 

At the science lab, Macy is looking up the final ingredient for the truth serum while Ser Darius Blaine sneaks up on her and is like "The fuck you doing with that lethal shit?" Wait, lethal?? Why the fuck are they going to put a lethal ingredient in a TRUTH SERUM??? I mean, I get that Harry Pothead is probably already dead, but what if one of the sisters accidentally swallows it? Or Niko? Or an innocent? The fuck am I watching?! 

Don't get me started on Maggie and Ben's little love affair... NEEEEEXT!!!!!

Mel is using the Spirit Board while talking to her now again girlfriend, Niko. They're planning a sub date in seems, and then after they're off the phone, Mel begins to use the board which spells out "Melly". So obviously, her mother is reaching out. So after Maggie joins Mel, they begin to contact their Mom.

But then there's this scene about how Macy goes to the hospital room where the Janitor is, and she witnesses Harry Houdini doing some magical mojo on the woman?? Excuse me, what the fuck is going on? 

Back at the manor, after Macy sees the other two using the spirit board, something weird happens. The board shoots out and grabs Maggie's wrist but then Macy uses her powers to move the board away, causing it to break? Mel of course has a panic attack because when isn't she? Down in the dining room, the girls are discussing what Macy just did and Macy is like "OBVI IT'S THE POWER OF TWO AND IM JUST HERE FOR KICKS AND GIGGLES!!" Bitch please, take a step back. 

Then Niko comes along and what the fuck is the coincidence that she and Macy has the EXACT SAME FUCKING THERMOS?! Give me a fucking BREAK!!!! Well we know what happens... Macy makes a fucking fool of herself with Harry while fucking Niko is under the influence of the truth serum. It's interesting, I guess, because Niko has all these bottled up feelings and releases it when Mel goes to save her. She even slept with her fiancee after she and Mel broke up. Ouch. 

I'm so fucking confused because here's Harry Potter who claims to be a whitelighter but he's acting like a creepy mother fucking douche, but then he told the girls that the Spirit Board is able to trick them into making them think what it wants, but then Maggie and Mel casts a spell to release Marisol from the board and there she is in full fledged flesh... something isn't adding up. How annoying would it be if Harry really was a whitelighter? Whatever, because the girls really did release Marisol, or a demon who's able to make themselves look like her. 

Okay, I know what's going on. It doesn't take much to figure out, especially since I've watched Original Charmed and other CW shows. So this bitch, who isn't their mother at all, is hellbent on accusing Harry of killing the mother. Give me a break... it'll be revealed whatever is in the board is the demon of the episode, just we wait... Sighs...

Okay so they're looking for a Prism of whatever they called it, and Harry is supposedly keeping it in a mirror that used to be Marisol's. The girls go to the office to investigate and they find a mirror that's actually a portal leading them to a fucking mirror fun house? And they get trapped into the world place... How cheesy lmfao. But don't panic, my readers, because with the divine powers of the Power of Three the girls are able to get out of the mirror dimension before they became trapped... Bummer. 

Back at the Vera Manor, Marisol and Harry are fighting to the death... which is pretty ironic since they're both dead. Harry is determined to put it in their heads that this bitch isn't their mother and she's a demon of... I forgot what Harry said, but think of it as a Demon of Illusion like in Classic Charmed Season 2... I guess. The demon tries to trick Mel into making her believe it's her Mom, but Mel tricks the demon instead since Marisol never played favorites and then Mel stabs the demon in the chest!! Which I kinda admit is cool... Don't hate me, please.

Anyway, you know what this demon is really like? Remember in Season 1 of Classic Charmed with Kali? Kali was this demon who made herself comfortable in the mirror before she possessed Aviva and the Charmed Ones ended up shattering her reflection? Yeah, that's what Mel had to do while Maggie was keeping her frozen. So demon be vanquished. Yay!!! -Insert Eye Roll Here-

So the demons gone, Harry is being trusted now, and everything is peachy keen. How fucking boring. Maggie also broke up with her friends with benefits while Macy apologized to Galvin, all of whom I think is a demon.

This show is just so fucking predictable. 

Yawwwwwn!!!

Also there's this thing called a Harbinger of Hell who's coming up to Earth to go after the girls and help begin the Apocalypse. 

So yeah... more elements from Supernatural.

Final Episode Score: D-